|
 |
|
|
October, 2007
|
SELLING ICE TO ESKIMOS
What once used to be a joking phrase defining a certain kind of salesman may
turn out to be prophetic. With the dwindling ice pack in the Arctic Ocean, the lives of Eskimos and
polar bears are threatened by global warming. What the Arctic needs is ice. One enterprising company has already proposed making artificial ice floes to
place in the Arctic Ocean to give the polar bears platforms to hunt seals from. "We can make 4 foot thick Styrofoam sheets that look and function like
ice floes, "said John Tom, with Artificial Habitats Company of Tucson. Artificial Habitats makes natural looking environments for zoo animals. "What we are looking for are environment groups or countries willing the
fund mass production of the artificial ice floes so we can save the polar bears. REAL ADVERTISEMENTS
Historic Lowe House Working/Open Studio Spaces For Rent Rental:From $450 a month Negotiable Features: Separate entrances; common kitchen,restroom and outdoor work and exhibition areas Heating/Cooling,Electric, Water, Gas, Shared Utilities Size:From 180 sq. ft.to 865 sq. ft. National Register of Historic Places and long history as a destination for fine
arts and fine working artists. For more information: TUBAC HISTORIC PROPERTIES
|
CONSERVATIVE BRAIN FOUND DEFICIENT OF SYMPATHY AND CARING
TUCSON: Scientist at the General Delivery University today confirmed studies
that prove conservatives have a brain defect that prevents them from feeling
empathy, sympathy or caring a rat's ass about people other than themselves. "There is indeed an anomaly in the brains of about 30% of the population
which expresses itself in rigidity, dogmatism and conservatism," said Wily
B. Greene, Director of the GDU Institute of Cognitive Misbehavior "These people have no ability to deal with changes, adapt to new
situations, or understand the consequences of sticking to the same old path even
when there is overwhelming evidence that path is a disaster," added Greene. "George W. Bush is a classic example of this defect," he added. The new brain defect is proposed to be called the Bush Syndrome, as a result. "People have to wake up to the fact that electing people to public
office who suffer from this defect are only going to cause serious
problems," Greene noted. "The number of people with this syndrome indicates that it is slowly
being weeded out of the gene pool through evolution, which may explain why
conservatives are so adamant in their opposition to the Theory of
Evolution," Greene explained. "They are a dead end branch on the
evolutionary tree." BUSH NOMINATED TO SOCIETY OF TITANIC CAPTAINS
NEWFOUNDLAND: The Society of Titanic Captains today announced US President
George W. Bush has been nominated to become a member of this elite society. "Every year we seek out a person in charge of something who best
emulates the stubbornness of the captain of the original ship Titanic, who ran
the giant ocean liner into an iceberg," said Amos Findley, current
president of the Society of Titanic Captains (STC). "Bush's constant claims that the US war in Iraq is going just fine is
reminiscent of the Titanic Captain's claim everything was going just fine
minutes before the Titanic hit the berg and was fatally wounded. If Bush accepts his membership in the STC, he will be included on the ocean
floor just off Newfoundland, where the wreckage of the Titanic lies. |
BACK ISSUES
GLOBAL WARMING BLAMED ON TERRORISTS BOMBING IRAQ WITH DOLLARS PROPOSED ALCATRAZ REOPENED AS A WHITE COLLAR CRIMINAL PRISON GOP BLAMES SHORTER DAYS ON DEMOCRATS BUSH VOCABULARY LIMITS IRAQ POLICY US-MEXICO BORDER SAME AS ISRAEL-PALESTINE BORDER BANDERSNATCH RESPONDS TO ELECTRONIC SPIES SANTA BLAMED FOR SOCIETY'S PSYCHOSIS FROSTY THE SNOWMAN ENDORSES ALITO FOR SUPREME COURT EXTREME MAKEOVER TO REBUILD NEW ORLEANS PLANETARY ROTATION BLAMED FOR EARTHQUAKES LAWYER BUYOUT PROGRAM PROPOSED SAVE SOCIAL SECURITY BY DYING YOUNGER SADDAM COMMITS SUICIDE - APRIL FOOLS
THE NEWS FROM BAJA ARIZONA
SELF HELP ADVICE
WRECK YOUR LIFE GET IN TOUCH WITH YOUR INNER RODENT
TAKE OUR RELATIONSHIP INCOMPATIBILITY TEST
TAKE OUR SEXUAL INCOMPATIBILITY TEST
BANDERSNATCH CLASSICS
NEW WONDER DRUG PLACEBO DISCOVERED
TRAILER PARK SEEKS HISTORIC STATUS
INDIAN RUINS PROPOSED AS LOW INCOME HOUSING
FREEWAY MEDIANS NEW LANDFILL SITES
CONGRESS INDICTED FOR SECURITIES FRAUD
THE RECENT PAST THROUGH BANDERSNATCH EYES (1997-2004)
BAD TUNNEL DESIGN BLAMED FOR DI'S DEMISE
FASTER THAN LIGHT TRAVEL FOUND
MAYTAG REPAIRMAN OFFERS TO SAVE MIR
TAMPA TO HOST 2008 WINTER OLYMPICS
NY HOMELESS REFUSE TO EAT PIGEOMS
BAPTISTS STRANDED ON TREASURE ISLAND
BANDERSNATCH GUIDES
BANDERSNATCH HOLIDAYS
ADVERTISEMENTS
SITE LISTINGS
|
|
