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June, 2010 . . . Published Sort of Monthly
The Frumuous Bandersnatch Satirical Newspaper founded in 1965...On-line in 1997...One of America's oldest satirical newspapers.
INTERNATIONALLY INFAMOUS SOURCE OF FAKE NEWS, JUNK SCIENCE, AND REALLY BAD HOW TO ADVICE
READERS IN 202 COUNTRIES
LATEST NEWS ABOUT GLOBAL WARMING GUIDE TO YOUR EVPORATIVE COOLER BUY OUR REALLY FUNNY BOOKS !!!! THESE MAKE GREAT GIFTS Get them at amazon.com A parody self-help book that will teach you how to avoid being killed by the cops, how to live on 1/10th your income, how to wreck your life, and much more. Only $15.95 at Amazon.com. The very best stories from The Frumious Bandersnatch since its first edition to now, only $15.95 at Amazon.com The one and only GDU Catalog. Get your entire college experience without having to go to class for only $10.95 at Amazon.com THESE ARE ALL REAL ADVERTISEMENTS - HELP KEEP US ALIVE ON THE WEB VACATION RENTALS IN TUBAC ARIZONA AGENT WANTED I am looking for literary agent to represent me. BOOKS Deer Seen As Terrorist Threat. The General Delivery University Catalog. Get In Touch With Your Inner Rodent. SCREENPLAYS January 20th A terrorist"what if" story. The Sparrow WWII story about the Air Transport Command TREATMENTS SLIDEBACK What if the mob had a war with a big corporation? THE DEAD PEOPLE How do you think you'll survive on Social Security? Contact me at Hugh A. Holub |
New solutions proposed to stop the oil spill Now that BP has failed to plug the blown out oil well in the
Gulf of Mexico, experts from the General Delivery University have some plans.
More.....
Are you tired of the usual vacation to somewhere
like Disneyworld or Hawaii?
A really good vacation has to be an "adventure".
What is an "adventure"? It is when things go so wrong on a trip that the story you get to tell
about what happened is much better than the actual experience.
Like, after you get lost, your rented car breaks down, it starts raining,
no one speaks English, you really need a ride to the airport 500 miles away,
and you hitch a ride on a bottle truck...that's when the "adventure" starts.
SURFING IN THE OIL SLICK: Bring your surf boards to the Louisiana or the Mississippi coast
and brave the oil soaked waves. Grease that curl. No smoking allowed.
LETTUCE ADVENTURE: America's farms are hurting for workers with the crackdown
on illegal aliens. Come to Arizona and work in the fields picking lettuce.
Stay in historic migrant labor camps. Get a lot of sun and make a few dollars per day.
HIKE ACROSS THE BORDER: Experienced guides will take you across the burning desert of
Southern Arizona from Mexico to the United States for only $3,000.
Learn how to hide from the Border Patrol, find water bottles left for migrants,
and avoid border bandits who will steal everything you have. More... School is out, and now the dreaded decision--where to send little
Johnny and Jane for the summer so you can preserve your marriage. We have
researched summer camp opportunities throughout the continent, and herewith
offer our guide to the pick of summer fun More.....
In order to avoid the charge of racial profiling due to Arizona's law making it illegal for Mexicans
to be in Arizona illegally, the state is now considering crackding down on illegal Canadians in the state.
More....
ARIZONA SEEKS
TO OFFSET BOYCOTTS OVER RACIST IMMIGRATION LAW
In response to widespread attempts to boycott Arizona in the wake of passage of Arizona's new anti-Mexican law (SB 1070),
Republican officials are launching a counter effort. More...
ARIZONA MAKES IT ILLEGAL TO
BE IN ARIZONA IF YOU ARE ILLEGAL
The Arizona state legislature passed a new law that made being
in the state illegally a state crime..More...
TIPS FOR LIVING OR VISITING IN ARIZONA
In the wake of Arizona's new draconian immigration laws, you need to be
prepared. More...
WALLET-SIZED OFFICIAL
BIRTH CERTIFICATES PROPOSED IN ARIZONA
Proving you are a citizen and legally allowed to be in Arizona is a problem if you don't
have a passport. An new business opporunity More...
CONCEALED WEAPONS ALLOWED
IN ARIZONA WITHOUT A PERMIT
In another attempt to distract state residents from the
looming bankruptcy of state government, the Arizona state legislature passed a new law allowing anyone
to carry a concealed weapon without a permit or having to take a course in when you can shoot someone.More...
IS IT TIME FOR BAJA ARIZONA YET?
The Arizona state legislature dominated by right wing nuts from Marciopa County have gone flat insane. Is it time for America's 51st state yet? More....
Learn about supermarket Checkout Transaction Complexity
MORE.
RECENT BACK ISSUES
ANCIENT INDIANS PREDICTED GLOBAL WARMING
NEW DANGEROUS MENTAL DISORDER DISCOVERED
new credit card law sucks
TOP STORIES OF 2009 & 10 PREDICTIONS FOR 2010
2009 CHRISTMAS ISSUE
CALENDAR MAKERS PROTEST 2012
CHINESE JUNK TO DESTROY AMERICA
EVOLUTIONARY HEALTH CARE PLAN PROPOSED
GM CHANGES NAME TO GOVERNMENT MOTORS
NEW FORMS OF
TORTURE APPROVED
BIOLOGICAL WEAPONS DISCOVERED IN
IRAQ
OBAMA CREATES CRISIS FOR COMEDIANS
2008 PRE-ELECTION SPECIAL: McCAIN
BLAMES SHORTER DAYS ON OBAMA
SPECIAL REPORT ON THE ECONOMIC
MESS>
DESIGN YOUR OWN 2012 REPUBLICAN
PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE HERE
NEW POLITICAL
AUCTION SITE LAUNCHED SENATOR OFFERS VOTES FOR SALE ON eBAY THE NEWS FROM BAJA
ARIZONA
FREE BAJA ARIZONA campaign
STAFF, BUSINESS INFO AND POLICIES
MORE BACK ISSUES
OFFSHORE DRILLING PROPOSED OFF REPUBLICAN COASTS
CALENDAR MAKERS PROTEST END OF TIME
INTERSECTIONS PROVEN TO CAUSE TRAFFIC ACCIDENTS
PRESIDENTIAL PRIMARY PANDERING
SENATOR OFFERS VOTES FOR SALE ON eBAY
GLOBAL WARMING BLAMED ON TERRORISTS
BOMBING IRAQ WITH DOLLARS PROPOSED
ALCATRAZ REOPENED AS A WHITE COLLAR CRIMINAL
PRISON
BUSH VOCABULARY LIMITS IRAQ POLICY
US-MEXICO BORDER SAME AS ISRAEL-PALESTINE BORDER
BANDERSNATCH RESPONDS TO ELECTRONIC SPIES
SANTA BLAMED FOR SOCIETY'S PSYCHOSIS
FROSTY THE SNOWMAN ENDORSES ALITO FOR SUPREME
COURT
EXTREME MAKEOVER TO REBUILD NEW ORLEANS
PLANETARY ROTATION BLAMED FOR EARTHQUAKES
LAWYER BUYOUT PROGRAM PROPOSED
SAVE SOCIAL SECURITY BY DYING YOUNGER
BANDERSNATCH
CLASSICS
BAD COW PUBLIC RELATIONS
NEW WONDER DRUG PLACEBO DISCOVERED
TRAILER PARK SEEKS HISTORIC STATUS
INDIAN RUINS PROPOSED AS LOW INCOME HOUSING
FREEWAY MEDIANS NEW LANDFILL SITES
FEMININE SIDE OF WATER by NANCY VALENTINE
ENVIRONMENTAL NEWS
HISTORY
THROUGH BANDERSNATCH EYES (1997-2004)
ALIENS INVADE ARIZONA
BAD TUNNEL DESIGN BLAMED FOR DI'S DEMISE
FASTER THAN LIGHT TRAVEL FOUND
MAYTAG REPAIRMAN OFFERS TO SAVE MIR
BILL CLINTON'S DEFINITON OF SEXUAL RELATIONS
TAMPA TO HOST 2010 WINTER OLYMPICS
BANDERSNATCH
GUIDES
BANDERSNATCH
HOLIDAYS
BANDERSNATCH
CONSPIRACIES
GET YOUR FREE COLLEGE DIPLOMA
IF YOU CAN FIND THE RIGHT PAGE
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HOW TO WRITE SATIRE "SATIRE: 1 a literary work holding up human vices and follies to ridicule or scorn; 2 trenchant wit, irony, or sarcasm used to expose and discredit vice or folly" Merriam Websters Online Dictionary. Satire is one of the most difficult types of humor to write because your satirical point of view can get you into serious trouble. Americans as a general rule dont have a sense of humor. In other countries you can get thrown in jail or worse. When the Frumious Bandersnatch started in the 1960s we had FBI agents going to our advertisers threatening them if they supported us. In the last 10 years the Bandersnatch managed to get on federally mandated library filtering systems, even though the name of the site is derived from Lewis Carrolls Alice in Wonderland Jabberwocky poem. Effective satire points out how stupid, silly, or ridiculous something or someone is. The target of satire generally doesnt like being discredited and (if your article is really good) subjected to scorn. There are some tricks to writing good and effective satire. First, is understand the importance of context. For example, satire won't work on the front page of the New York Times, even though some of the stories could pass for good satire. If a satirical article catches the reader by surprise, they might not get the humor. Thus, in plying your satirical wit, make sure you target it in a context where the reader is looking for humor, like here. This is why Saturday Night Live, John Stewart and Colbert work because you know its coming. A satirical story would flop in the network news. Rarely do you ever see a satirical commentary in a regular newspapers editorial pages. The Bandersnatch is clearly a satirical newspaper. One should not expect a serious news story there. Even at that, the paper makes a point that it "is the least trustworthy source of news on the web". Notwithstanding every attempt to make it clear the content of the Bandersnatch is fake, sometimes people miss the point. We ran a story about the Nogales (a US-Mexico border city) Chamber of Commerce promoting tourism by offering drug tunnel tours. The real chamber actually got a call from someone from the Discovery Channel wanting to take one of the tours and shoot a story. Second, vicious does not work. "Trenchant" is a key word to remember. Sharp, vigorously effective. Words like "delightfully vicious" is more the goal. Third, obscenity detracts from good satire. The best satire is very literate. Fourth, the more subtle and authoritative your satire is, the more effective it is. British humor is very understated, and absolutely funny as a result. Americans tend to be over the top. Appearing to be serious while in fact the content is not, works very well. The best satire mimics authoritative presentation so that at a glance it might appear to be real. We try and use the AP stylebook whenever we can remember it. And that is also why we always have an expert from the General Delivery University pontificating. The best satire works in tandem with the level of the readers understanding of the subject or topic of the satire. If people care enough about a subject, they will be current on it and knowledgeable about it. We assume you are intelligent. Fifth, the trick is to make sure the made-up farcical element is clear. For example, the authoritative quotations in the Frumious Bandersnatch almost always from some faculty member of the General Delivery University, which is billed as "Americas only genuine diploma mill". Sixth, one path to good satire is taking an existing trend or direction of a story, and keep going as far over the edge as you dare. The ultimate truth (and justification for seeing something as outrageous) is to follow the logical trend way out there and see where it takes you. That's why our story about Arizona's immigration law goes after illegal Canadians. Seventh, another path to effective satire is turn the story upside down. For example, thr book "Get In Touch With Your Inner Rodent" is a parody of self-help books and is based on advice that is just the opposite of anything that could really be useful. One of the Bandersnatchs best stories was when the first Martian lander started reporting from Mars. We started running stories from the Martian resistance point of view as the Martians tried to repel the Earth invaders. Eighth, pick your subject carefully. The more visible and serious the target is, the easier it is to satirize them. This is what editorial cartoonist do: take highly visible people or topics, then stretch or shrink their most identifying elements. People or subjects that arent highly visible make poor satirical targets because no one will get it because they dont know who you are talking about. Ninth, is in order to avoid getting sued for libel in the United States your target really must be a public person, because they have a harder path to suing. A public person can only sue for reckless disregard for the truth and actual malice.Satire is the essence of disregard for the truth, because satire makes facts up. The key is to make it clear you are not claiming what you say is in fact true. This is again why context is so crucial. Finally, do not expect to get rich writing satire. There is virtually no market for paid satirical writing. The joy in writing satire comes from not only the reaction of readers who enjoy it, the real high comes when the target of satire reacts to your piece. Those who need to be satirized take themselves way too seriously. Puncturing their pomposity and certainty that they are the fount of all good and right and knowledge brings them down to earth. And with surprising frequency, those who need to be brought back among us mortals will provide the second act to your satirical barb and give it vastly more attention than it would otherwise have gotten. Just hope they arent the director of the FBI. The Squirrelly Advisor is a parody of How To advice columns. The premise of The Squirrelly Advisor is to address topics of concern from a decidedly off-beat perspective. When confronted with choices in our lives, we hear the voices of our angels and demons advising us, and sometimes we also hear the voice of the squirrel. Rarely do we actually act upon the advice of our inner squirrel, but sometimes being able to laugh about our problems opens new doors of awareness.
If you have a question you want some Squirrelly Advice on, send your question to The Squirrel
For more Squirrelly Advice CLICK HERE NEW -- HOW TO FAIL AT BUSINESS HOW TO WRITE SATIRE
HOW TO AVOID BEING LAID OFF
TURN YOUR PERSONALITY
DISORDER INTO AN ASSET
SPECIAL OFFER
HOME PSYCHOTHERAPY
MORE SQUIRRELY ADVICE: PERSONAL
RELATIONSHIPS HOW
TO CREATE A STATE OF CLINICAL DEPRESSION WOMEN
ARE FROM NORDSTROM'S MEN ARE FROM HOME DEPOT HOW
TO MAKE A RELATIONSHIP FAIL TAKE
OUR PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP INCOMPATIBILITY TEST TAKE
OUR SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP INCOMPATIBILITY TEST BUSINESS
AND FINANCE HOW
TO LIVE ON 1/10TH YOUR INCOME HOW
TO MAKE ARBITRARY AND CAPRICIOUS DECISIONS HOW
TO BUY A CAR AND MAKE THE DEALER REALLY HAPPY THE
EXPONENTIAL IMPROBABILITY OF SUCCESS AND OTHER NEGOTIATION THEORIES POLITICS LIFESTYLE HOW
TO AVOID BEING SHOT BY THE POLICE ADVERTISEMENT |
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Copyright 2010 by Hugh A. Holub THE FRUMIOUS BANDERSNATCH is a US federally registered trademark so be very careful EMAIL US AT EDITOR
with your comments & criticisms.We rarely publish letters and emails unless they are positive. Reprints of our stuff are allowed provided that you don't make any money (we get 50% of what you
do make), you give us credit ("From The Frumious Bandersnatch"), and you provide a link back to us. |