Share this page
with your Friends on Facebook

And share with

Crackdown on illegal Canadians proposed

Recognizing that SB 1070, Arizona's tough new law making it illegal to be illegal in Arizona could lead to racial profiling, the Arizona state legislature is now proposing to crack down on illegal Canadians in the state.

"We understand that if our anti-immigrant laws are solely aimed at Mexicans, than anyone who looks like a Mexican will be hassled by the police," said Rusty Pork, state senator. "So we're going to solve that by also going after Canadians."

According to sources at the state capitol, there are those who believe there are hundreds of illegal Canadians who have snuck across the border and bought winter homes in Phoenix.

"These illegal Canadians are also coming to Arizona to take advantage of our excellent health care where you don't have to wait ten years to get a kidney transplant," added Pork.

Police will be authorized to stop and ask anyone who looks like a Canadian to prove he or she is legally in Arizona.

"Thus, the paler white someone is, especially if they don't have a tan, they're likely to come from somewhere way far up north," added Pork.

"And a lot of Canadians speak with a funny accent," he added.

The damage to Arizona's economy caused by illegal Canadians cannot be understated, said state officials.

"They sneak into Arizona and basically they're cheap," said one official. "We want people to come to Arizona who want to send lots of money."

Civil liberties advocates were puzzled by the crackdown on Canadians. "Since they can now justify stopping every Mexican they see, does that mean they will stop every white person they also encounter?" asked a lawyer for the Baja Arizona Civil Liberties Union.

Canadian officials were shocked to hear of the new proposed Arizona law targeting Canadians.

"We doubt there is one illegal Canadian in the entire United States, hey," said a spokesman for the Canadian Foreign Ministry. "Our problem is all those Arizonans fleeing their facist state."

The Canadian official also noted his country was still recovering from the flood of Americans that fled to Canada during the Vietnam War. "The only reason we've ever had a drug problem in our country was all those hippies that jumped the border to avoid the US military draft, and are now growing marijuana in the mountains outside of Vancouver."

If Arizona passes the Canadian profiling law, Canada plans to retaliate. "We won't let our hockey teams play against the Phoenix Scorpions hockey team."

Back to the Bandersnatch