disease of the month


CRS has reached epidemic proportions in the United States, the Center for Disease Avoidance in Atlanta reported today.

"With the population getting older due to the Baby Boomers moving through the demographic chart like a pig through a python," noted CDA metaphysician Carlos Raven, "this is not unexpected."

The CDA estimates that one out of four Americans suffers from this delibilitating disease. "The number could be higher, but many people forget to report the problem," Raven reported.

The primary symptom of CRS is the inability of the victim to remember names. "Some of the CRS sufferers write their names on post-it stickems and put it on their alarm clock, so they can remember who they are in the morning," Raven noted.

Other victims can't remember numbers, such as bank deposits. "We've had a lot of reports of infection in the Democratic National Committee staff," Raven added.

CRS, commonly known as "Can't Remember Sh**", is not linked to Alzheimers, "as far as we know," Raven said.

"The symptoms are similar, but CRS victims can function normally in every other way," he said. "They just keep forgetting certain things like the names of political campaign contributers."

We asked Raven when the first cases of CRS were noted, but he couldn't remember.