Just answer a few irrelevant questions and you'll have your perfect presidential candidate.

1. Should your candidate be: (a) female, (b) male.

2. If your candidate selection is male, please answer the following questions. We'll get to the female option later. If your choice is female and you've already made up your mind on this one, quit wasting your time here,

MALE CANDIDATE QUESTIONS

3. Should your candidate be (a) married, (b) divorced, (c) single, (d) widowed, (e) all of the above.

4. Should your candidate's wife be (a) like Barbara Bush, (b) like Laura Bush, (c) like Sarah Palin, (d) like Ann Coulter, or (e) completely anonymous and invisible.

FEMALE CANDIDATE QUESTIONS

3. Should your candidate be (a) married, (b) divorced, (c) single,(d) widowed, (e) or all of the above.

4. Should your candidate's husband be (a) like William F. Buckley, (b) like William Rielly, (c) like John McCain, (d) completely anonymous and invisible.

ALL CANDIDATE QUESTIONS

5. Should your candidate be (a) a Fundamentalist Christian, (b) an Evangelical Christian, or (c) Mormon.

6. Should your candidate (a) be for a totally unregulated free market, (b) allow for minimal government regulation of the market,

7. Should your candidate (a) be a war hero, (b) or gotten a deferment because he/she was physically unfit.

8. Who does your candidate think is America's worst enemy: (a) the Russians, (b) Osama bin Laden, (c) Nancy Pelosi, (d) the movie industry, (e) all of the above.

9. What is your candidate's number one priority? (a) cutting government spending, (b) lowering federal income taxes, (c) privatizing public education, (d) looking real good on television.

10. Is your candidate (a) a libertarian, (b) a small government conservative Republican, (c) a conservative who believes government should ban abortion, (d) someone whose political ideology is completely undetectable.

11. Does your candidate (a) live in a big state, (b) live in a small state, (c) live in no state.

12. Should you candidate (a) have experience in Congress, (b) been a governor, (c) have no political experience whatsoever.

13. Should your candidate (a) have been a federal prosector, (b) been a cop, (c) have no criminal record at all.

14. Should your candidate be (a) tall, (b) short, (c) fat, (d) thin, (e) really average.

15. Should your candidate have (a) no children, (b) children still in school, (c) children that have grown up and moved out of home, (d) children that have grown up but refuse to leave home.

16. Should your candidate (a) be old enough to be eligible for social security and want to protect the system, (b) a baby boomer who realizes social security is a ponzi scheme.

17. Should your candidate (a) want to get votes from the religious right by opposing abortion and supporting prayer in schools, or (b) vigorously defend the separation of church and state, or (c) whichever of the above wherever he or she happens to be speaking.

18. Should your candidate have a lot of friends (a) on Wall Street, (b) in the NRA, (c) in the NBA, (d) in Congress, (e) who have lots of money, (f) all of the above.

19. Should your candidate (a) speak three or more languages, (b) speak two languages, or (c) speak one language, (d) speak no languages.

20. Should your candidate have (a) a college degree, (b) a law degree, (c) a masters or Ph.D. degree, (c) just graduated from high school, (d) no education whatsoever.

21. Should your candidate have (a) gray hair, (b) natural colored hair, (c) dyed hair.

22. Should your candidate have a (a) dog, (b) a cat, (c) a cat and a dog, (d) goldfish, (e) horses, (f) pet snakes.

23. Should your candidate like to (a) play golf, (b) play tennis, (c) bowl, (d) fish, (e) hunt, (f) shoot pool, (g) shoot wolves from airplanes, (h) play video games.

24. Should your candidate (a) drive Japanese car, (b) drive an American car, (c) drive a European car, (d) not drive at all.

25. Should your candidate currently (a) drive a min-van to work, (b) drive a pikup truck to work, (c) drive an SUV to work, (d) drive a car to work, (e) be driven to work in a limo.

26. Does your candidate (a) drink beer, (b) drink wine, (c) drink hard liquor, (d) drink bottled water.

27. Does your candidate now or has he or she ever (a) smoked, (b) taken political contributions from a Democrat, (c) masturbated, (d) sung in a church choir, (e) most of the above.

28. What do you want your candidate to do with the federal budget: (a) lower taxes, (b) increase spending for defense, (c) send you a check for a billion dollars.

29. Has your candidate: (a) seen Russia from a distance, (b) flown over Russia, (c) actually visited Russia, (d) spoken Russian.

30. Does your candidate buy their clothes from: (a) expensive designer name stores, (b) stores in Malls, (c) Wall Mart, (d) second-hand stores.

31. You want your candidate to: (a) agree with your views 100% of the time, (b) 75% of time, (c) 50% of the time, (d) to actually win the election.

Now that you've completed our Design Your Own Republican Presidential Candidate quiz, compare your answers to the data currently available about the people being talked about as future candidates for President. Who most completely fits your ideal Candidate? You can order your Ideal Presidential Candidate by writing directly to the Republican Party headquarters. Please enclose a check for at least $5 to get someone's attention.