The Center for Saving Social Security  has put forth a plan to save Social Security.

 ”The core problem with the Social Security system is all those Baby Boomers who probably will live into their 90′s, bankrupting the program,” said Allen Loospan, economist at the General Delivery University who has been advising the  Save Social Security effort.

“The number of working people supporting the system will decline while the number of beneficiaries increases,” noted Loospan. “Unless we can legalize 11 million illegal aliens and tax them for Social Security, the system is going to go bankrupt.”

The  Center to Save Social Security’s new plan is  named “Die Younger” according to Loospan.

“If the life expectancy of the baby boomers were to drop to say 75, that would save over a trillion dollars,” Loospan noted.

The solution for reducing Baby Boomer life span is to quit encouraging Boomers to lead healthier (and thus longer) lives.

“The whole thrust of our current health care system is to try and convince people to quit smoking, eat less fatty foods, exercise and so forth,” said Loospan. “The problem is this is actually working, thus people are in fact living longer.”

The Die Younger plan aims to encourage Baby Boomers to smoke, eat fatty food, drink excessively, not exercise, and to generally burn the candle at both ends.

“We also suggested that the retirement age constantly be raised, so the Boomers have to keep working, and live under stress,” said Loospan.

Extension of excessive amounts of credit to Boomers is also incorporated into the Die Younger plan.

“The more debt the Boomers carry, the more stress there, too.”

The Save Social Security group is requesting that reverse mortgages be generously offered to Boomers, with federal loan guarantees for lenders. “If we can tap all that equity Boomers have in their homes, and they don’t live for another 30 years, we can jump start our economy,” said Loospan.

The Die Younger proposal is supported by America’s tobacco industry, who would get immunity from law suits for deaths caused by smoking if the Die Younger plan is adopted by Congress.

“While the initial reaction to promoting bad choice lifestyle will probably be initially very negative,” added Loospan, “the moralistic objections of  Republicans will evaporate when studies show that Democrats are more likely to avail themselves of the bad lifestyles needed to save Social Security.”

In addition to encouraging Baby Boomers to live recklessly, the Save Social Security group is asking Congress to allow tax credits for Boomers who purchase fast sports cars, and who take up sky diving or scuba diving or some other activity noted for shortening lifespans.

“We are also planning a media campaign showing Boomers the choices they have,” said Loospan.

 ”In one scene you will see a 90 year old Boomer hooked up to tubes and wires  in a hospice surrounded by strangers talking about taking vacations in the South Pacific  and in the other scene you will see the Boomer swimming amongst sharks in the South Pacific and having a great time.”

“The effort to ration Medicare so Boomers would not be able to get all the expensive health care to extend their lives ended up being trashed by Sarah Palin’s Death Panel claim,” said Loospan, “so that approach to reducing the exposure of the taxpayers to aging Boomers went out the window.”

“We have to make it socially acceptable for Boomers to shorten their own life spans,” Loospan added.

Other elements of the Save Social Security by Dying Younger campaign is a proposed forgiveness of student loans for kids who pull the plug on their Boomer parents when Boomers are soaking up vast quantities of tax money by lingering on heroic medical treatment to extend their lives.

“It is estimated that a typical Boomer will consume around $300,000 of Medicare money in the last few months of their lives being kept alive by greedy hospitals and doctors who see the dying Boomer as their ticket for a vacation home,” noted Loospan. “If we offer the children of Boomers a $150,000 forgiveness of their student loans, you can guess what they will do when faced with the choice of watching their parents waste away expensively or getting rid of their college debt.”

The Die Younger campaign will seek to get Boomers to encourage their kids to pull the plug. “We really don’t want Boomers to die resenting their children, so we will have a campaign to get Boomers to see shortening their lives as their patriotic duty to protect the prosperity of the next generation of Americans,” Loospan said. “We will make sure every Boomer who dies before the age of 75 gets a flag for their coffin.”

We asked a Boomer what he thought about the Die Younger proposal.

“I might even consider this,” said the Boomer, “if we get smoking sections back in bars and restaurants.”



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