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WORLD'S FIRST INDOOR
DOWNHILL TAMPA, FLORIDA: To the surprise of
everyone, Tampa-St. Petersberg was awarded the 2010 Winter Olympics by the
International Olympic Committee (IOC) this week. The Florida cities erupted in mass
wonderment at the announcement, since it was not widely known they were
even seeking the winter games. Though it hasn't snowed in Tampa et al
in over 200 years, the Tampa Olympic Committee (TOIC) had offered the
world's first indoor winter games. "We plan to construct appropriate
facilities to accomodate every competition in the winter games," said
Peter Pepper, head of the TOIC. "We will even build an indoor downhill
skiing venue," he added. Most of the typical winter games, such
as ice skating, are already held inside specially constructed arenas,
Pepper noted. "We're thinking of a big roller with a video of a downhill
race in front of it, that the competitors can ski on," he
added. Rumors are that some of the Tampa
winter events will be held at nearby DisneyWorld. "They've got an
excellent replica of the Matterhorn at the venue," said Pepper. "Maybe
we'll hold the opening ceremonies at the foot of Disney's
mountain." "Our 4 man bobsled team has an
excellent chance of winning the gold medal in the Tampa games, since they
will be competing in 80 degree weather," said Rockmon Gangi, head of the
Jamaica's Olympic sports program. The more traditional hosts of winter
sports immediately protested the IOC decision. "Shouldn't the Winter
Olympics be held at a real ski resort?" asked Herve Villechez, mayor of
Geneva, Switzerland. It was immediately apparent to many
that the Tampa sponsors had simply bought the winter games, with massive
contributions to individual members of the IOC. "We categorically deny everything,"
said Juan Samaranch, president of the IOC. Other members of the IOC were
unavailable for comment, as they were reportedly inspecting their newly
acquired real estate holdings in
Florida. |