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WORLD'S FIRST INDOOR
TAMPA, FLORIDA: To the surprise of everyone, Tampa-St. Petersberg was awarded the 2014 Winter Olympics by the International Olympic Committee (IOC) this week.
The Florida cities erupted in mass wonderment at the announcement, since it was not widely known they were even seeking the winter games.
Though it hasn't snowed in Tampa et al in over 200 years, the Tampa Olympic Committee (TOIC) had offered the world's first indoor winter games. "We plan to construct appropriate facilities to accomodate every competition in the winter games," said Peter Pepper, head of the TOIC. "We will even build an indoor downhill skiing venue," he added.
Most of the typical winter games, such as ice skating, are already held inside specially constructed arenas, Pepper noted. "We're thinking of a big roller with a video of a downhill race in front of it, that the competitors can ski on," he added.
Rumors are that some of the Tampa winter events will be held at nearby DisneyWorld. "They've got an excellent replica of the Matterhorn at the venue," said Pepper. "Maybe we'll hold the opening ceremonies at the foot of Disney's mountain."
"Our 4 man bobsled team has an excellent chance of winning the gold medal in the Tampa games, since they will be competing in 80 degree weather," said Rockmon Gangi, head of the Jamaica's Olympic sports program.
The more traditional hosts of winter sports immediately protested the IOC decision. "Shouldn't the Winter Olympics be held at a real ski resort?" asked Herve Villechez, mayor of Geneva, Switzerland.
It was immediately apparent to many that the Tampa sponsors had simply bought the winter games, with massive contributions to individual members of the IOC.
"We categorically deny everything," said Juan Samaranch, president of the IOC. Other members of the IOC were unavailable for comment, as they were reportedly inspecting their newly acquired real estate holdings in Florida.
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